Unit 20: Vocabulary

A chronically ill patient who will remain in hospital until they die.

We try to provide comfort to the albatrosses, even though we cannot cure them.

An appendicitis, or an appendix.

He presented complaining of an appy.

A patient who is readmitted to hospital after being discharged.

If a doctor gets too many bouncebacks, it raises questions over his original diagnosis.

To be close to death.

She was circling the drain when I left last night so I wasn't surprised to hear she had passed away.

A fecal emergency, incontinence.

Most nurses dread hearing the words, "code brown".

The geriatrics ward.

Working in the departure lounge requires a lot of patience and empathy.

To pass away, die.

Two patients were discharged up last night so we have two free beds.

A patient who spends a lot of time at hospital, is frequently admitted.

Everyone at the hospital knows Mary, she is a real frequent flyer.

An administrative doctor whose job it is to reduce costs by only admitting emergency cases, or those with suitable insurance.

As the gatekeeper, he decides who should be admitted and who should not.

To have a large number of admissions while on duty.

A&E departments usually get hammered on Friday and Saturday nights.

A patient who demands more time than their condition deserves.

He only had a slight temperature but from the way he was complaining you would have thought he was going to die - what a goldbrick!

A play on words with the term LPN Licensed Practical Nurse.

I'll get one of the LPNs to give her a sponge bath, I certainly am not going to do it myself.

A junior nurse who thinks they are a doctor.

One of the most annoying things for doctors is dealing with noctors who think they know more than the doctor does.

Interns or residents.

All puppies should be present for rounds at 8am.

Ordering a wide variety of tests in the hope one of them will show what is wrong with a patient.

The doctors had no idea what was wrong with the patient so resorted to shotgunning.

A surgeon.

Slashers have a reputation of being less intelligent than other doctors, but this is rarely true.

To get rid of a patient by referring them to another ward / team / doctor.

It is not uncommon for a problem patient to be turfed from one department to another until they are discharged.

Relatives or friends who stay with a patient at all times.

Other patients in the ward felt uncomfortable because of her velcro who stayed with her around the clock.

The process of confirming a patients insurance before admission to hospital.

In corporate America, the wallet biopsy has become commonplace.

An obscure diagnosis when a more commonplace diagnosis is more likely.

Some doctors seem to overlook the obvious and arrive at zebras.