A dialogue between two nurses at the nurses' station in the city hospital:
RGN Mary: Hi Sarah, how was your shift?
LPN Sarah: Oh, hello Mary. It was a nightmare, I ended up pulling a double shift and haven't slept in almost 30 hours. And for the last 6 I have been dealing with this goldbrick I'm exhausted!
Mary: Yeah, I remember those days well. Look on the bright side, in less than 6 months you will have completed your RGN training and those days will be behind you.
Sarah: I can't wait, I've had enough of being an LPN!
Mary: Was it very busy last night?
Sarah: Yes, we got hammered-->get hammered with that train derailment and of course we had the usual frequent flyers just looking for attention.
Mary: Someone should do something about them. I mean we have a hard enough time treating people who actually need it, let alone those who don't.
Sarah: I know, but what are you going to do?
Sarah: Oh, and we had two bouncebacks
Sarah: Mr Jones, you know the one with the velcro and Miss Spencer
Mary: I thought the slasher had finished with Miss Spencer
Sarah: He had, but it didn't help. She still has the same symptoms.
Mary: So what is happening with her?
Sarah: Well, Dr. Singh was shotgunning last night so we will see if that turns anything up.
Mary: And what about little Jimmy? Has his condition improved?
Sarah: No, I'm afraid he was discharged up just after midnight.
Mary: Oh no, the parents must be devastated.
Sarah: They are. I actually felt sorry for Dr. Evans, he tried everything when Jimmy was circling the drain-->circle the drain but he just couldn't save him, and then he had to break the news to the mother. It was tough.
Mary: Yes, I can imagine. So this means we have a free bed?
Sarah: No, we admitted a guy with an appy this morning. He is due to go into surgery at midday.
Mary: What's he like?
Sarah: He seems nice enough, but apparently he got quite angry when the paramedics performed the wallet biopsy.
Mary: I'm not surprized. I would feel exactly the same.
Sarah: Yes, but it has to be done. You know the gatekeeper wouldn't let an uninsured patient be treated here.
Mary: I know. So after his operation he can be transferred to recovery?
Sarah: Yes, they already know he will be turfed later on today.
Mary: Great. And has the consultant seen Mrs Timms?
Sarah: Yes, but he reached a zebra.
Mary: What does he think it is now?
Sarah: Churg Strauss Syndrome.
Mary: What? Surely it is an ILI.
Sarah: That's the logical diagnosis but you know our consultant. If it's not exotic, he isn't interested.
Mary: I would love to give him a piece of my mind but the last time I contradicted him he started calling me a noctor.
Sarah: I hate it when he gets all condescending like that, but you know it's not just us nurses he looks down on, he behaves the same way with his puppies.
Mary: Yeah, last week I overheard him telling one of them to do a full run-up on the albatross at the end of the hall and then complaining that the intern couldn't diagnose the guy.
Sarah: Anyway, I'm just about finished so I am going to pop by the departure lounge to try and catch Joe before his shift finishes.
Mary: Ok. Well, have a nice couple of days off. And get some rest!
(intercom) : Paging nurse Mary, please report to ward A, we have a code brown.