In order to pass this unit, you need to know vocabulary below.
a chronically ill patient who will remain in hospital until they die
We try to provide comfort to the albatrosses, even though we cannot cure them.
an appendicitis, or an appendix
He presented complaining of an appy.
a patient who is readmitted to hospital after being discharged
If a doctor gets too many bouncebacks, it raises questions over his original diagnosis
circle the drain
to be close to death
She was circling the drain when I left last night so I wasn't surprised to hear she had passed away.
a fecal emergency, incontinence
Most nurses dread hearing the words code brown.
the geriatrics ward
Working in the departure lounge requires a lot of patience and empathy.
to pass away, die
Two patients were discharged up last night so we have two free beds.
a patient who spends a lot of time at hospital, is frequently admitted
Everyone at the hospital knows Mary, she is a real frequent flyer
an administrative doctor whose job it is to reduce costs by only admitting emergency cases, or those with suitable insurance
As the gatekeeper, he decides who should be admitted and who should not.
to have a large number of admissions while on duty
A&E departments usually get hammered on Friday and Saturday nights.
a patient who demands more time than their condition deserves
He only had a slight temperature but from the way he was complaining you would have thought he was going to die - what a goldbrick!
LPN (low paid nurse)
a play on words with the term LPN Licensed Practical Nurse
I'll get one of the LPNs to give her a sponge bath, I certainly am not going to do it myself.
a junior nurse who thinks they are a doctor
One of the most annoying things for doctors is dealing with noctors who think they know more than the doctor does.
interns or residents
All puppies should be present for rounds at 8am.
ordering a wide variety of tests in the hope one of them will show what is wrong with a patient
The doctors had no idea what was wrong with the patient so resorted to shotgunning.
Slashers have a reputation of being less intelligent than doctors, but this is rarely true.
to get rid of a patient by referring them to another ward / team / doctor
It is not uncommon for a problem patient to be turfed from one department to another until they are discharged.
relatives or friends who stay with a patient at all times
Other patients in the ward felt uncomfortable because of her velcro who stayed with her around the clock.
the process of confirming a patients insurance before admission to hospital
In corporate America, the wallet biopsy has become commonplace.
an obscure diagnosis when a more commonplace diagnosis is more likely
Some doctors seem to overlook the obvious and arrive at zebras.